How do you deal with your ex moving on?

I've been with my girlfriend since 2002, so about 6 years. As much as i love her i know we're not good for each other. When i'm with her i'm not motivated. Her bad habits get transfered onto me and i lower myself to her level just because i'm with her. I know i'll need to end it soon. I've tried to work it out but she doesn't see the need to.





I'm in a weird place emotionally. I know the end is coming soon and i'll probably be the one to end the relationship, but there are so many complicated things that hurt me...





I love her. I don't want to be with her and i don't see myself growing old with her, but i've been with her since we were both 15. We've been together so long i don't know what it's like to be alone or see my ex with someone else. One of the reason i haven't broken up with her sooner was because of the pain of seeing her with someone else...and





To complicate things further, we have the cutest 4 yr old daughter in the world. Adds so much more pain to the mix. How do i move on and deal with pain? How do i get ready for a custody battle? How do i deal with seeing my daughter less and if my soon to be ex dates someone, deal with my kid seeing another man around the house? Share your stories and advice. PleaseHow do you deal with your ex moving on?
Well i was with my ex for almost three years. Well now he just had a baby by my friend. Yeah i know it hurts, And gradually it gets better, but right now i know that you would probably feel this rush of emotion. Sadness and anger. Hate, and alot of it. You just have to know that you are better than that. And you also have to realize that at that point all that matters is your beautiful child. She needs both parents, and even if her mom finds another boyfriend, just remember that he can never take your place in your little girls heart. And believe me it gets so much better and easier as time goes by. I hope all goes well with you! Good luck, and i hope i helped!How do you deal with your ex moving on?
So sad. Believe that your becoming the best person you can be(sounds corny but it's true)will be a gift to your daughter. Don't dwell on things you can't control, such as your girlfriend and her life. It won't be easy and may seem like the lowest point in your life, but if you keep your daughters best interest in the forefront, you'll be fine.
Well certainly don't jump into another woman's arms. Be a dad, keep doing the things that make you happy and the things that made you sad will become insignificant.





And buddy, marriage first, kids second. Please write this down for next time.






I can't offer any advice, since I've never been through this or anything like this myself, but I offer my sympathy for your sad and complicated situation. :(
find someone else.





mine?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
wowo thats so hard
pray for your self please
You need to find your own relationship and move on yourself. Easier said than done, I know - but I had to do it. And if your paternity is important to you, you should take a stand for your rights if you are the father, and get legal visitation.





Dealing with the pain means feeling it, but not letting it define you and your life. It's normal to grieve a loss, and you should give yourself time to do that. Staying busy is also necessary.
:( I'm so sorry for you! I absolutely understand where you're at and it sucks... I really have no advice because theres no way to make this easy on anyone, but I can honestly tell you that when you're not with her and you find someone else that you love, seeing her with someone else really won't bother you (maybe cause a little irritation ~ but it won't hurt you). Once you know you're not supposed to be with someone, there is nothing else you can do. You just have to end it and deal with the hurt and move on. Ive gone through this twice now (its about to be 3 times) and every time its been my decision because I come to the realization that its just not supposed to be. Of course it hurts so bad and you wouldnt want to hurt someone else, but u gotta do what u gotta do.





As for your daughter, I dont have any advice ~ I havent had any kids yet.... good luck tho!
Before you end it, why not work on it in a different way.


Maybe she just doesn't realize the seriousness of this and how it is that you feel.





How about you two sitting down and making a list of things that you would like to see the other person improve on.





Make a list of things you can no longer tolerate.





Make a list of things that you find so amazing about the other.








Out of those lists, is there any way to compromise?


Is it possible that you two can have outside interests, and you won't be jealous of one another?


(I. E..... bike riding, hiking, rock climbing, taking a class on line or at a community college, a weekend spent with friends, camping, etc....)





You are making a decision for all 3 of you.


And if you want this to work, you really need to have a heart to heart conversation about it.



This is intended to be helpful: Make up your mind! You don't want her, but you can't stand to see her with someone else? Seriously, I think you should talk with a professional counselor before taking any actions, because you are very conflicted at this point and I think you don't really know what you want. And you want to be sure before you do anything, especially with the darling little girl involved.





I suggest you not worry about custody battles or dealing with the pain until you can your mind clear on exactly what you feel %26amp; think and why that is, so you can make the best decisions for you, your daugher, and your gf.
Wow that is hard.


However you need to do what is good for yourself and your daughter. If your not happy with your daughters mom, that you daughter will pick up on that. You have a 4 year old to worry about and Your first responsibility is to be a good parent to your daughter. If your daughters Mother dosen't allow you to be that, or at least not to your full capacity,then it is time to move on. 6 years is a long time to be with someone and moving on could take weeks, months years etc..It sucks but I will say a prayer for you.
It's not healthy to stay with someone because you don't want to see them with someone else. It's a sensitive issue though because there is a child involved. Be the best Dad you can, no matter what and move on. Through the entire process choose to be the ';bigger-man'; and don't bad talk your soon-to-be-ex in front of your daughter. Hopefully there won't be a custody battle, it's vital for a child to have a mother and a father. Be proactive and suggest a family mediator from the courts. They can be the third party who helps you and your gf work out any custody/visitation issues. Above all, do what is best for the child. Even if it means swallowing your pride. She is your shared responsibility, not a tool to be used to hurt each other and it's the children who end up with the most pain when a relationship is dissolved. In all things do what you know is right because if you aren't doing what you know to be right, you are doing what you know to be wrong.





It's not going to be easy but it isn't going to kill you either.
I would encourage you to be a man and stick it out. Show that love for your daughter. You ';love'; your girlfriend. She has bad habits. Man up and get her help. If your relationship fails . . . make her be the one to break it off. If you break it off . . . the court will almost certainly award custody to your girlfriend unless you get a lawyer now and are willing to document evidence against her.





Actually, your best defense and/or evidence to help you, almost in any scenario, is for you to try to get your girlfriend help. If it isn't successful, you will feel better about yourself and have a better chance of getting custody.





Good Luck anyway. It is really tough. I am not bashing you. I really, really am hoping for the best for you.
It's never hopeless. I would suggest you seek counseling and get your girlfriend to go, too. You have a daughter, which is reason enough to go to the mat before throwing in the towel. Obviously, if there is dangerous or illegal behavior on the part of either of you, that needs to stop for the child's sake (as well as you two.)





You have made mistakes, but in time you could be a success story with a happy marriage to show for your hard work. And any good relationship is hard work.





Read the statistics of children of separation and go from there.
All 3 of my ex husbands cheated, so I guess I went through enough pain and seeing them move on.........they moved on before they even ended it with me., but I've seen enough pain to fill many lives.





If it's at all possible, can you move to the next town? When visits are expected with your child, agree to meet half way so you don't even have to go near her home and possibly see men there in the future.





Try and keep in mind that if you don't have her, she deserves to have someone. ( if that helps).





Being that your a guy though, I have a feelng you'll be seeing another woman before she see's a guy. It's just % wise. :-)





If you truely know it's nt for you, of she's not, try and be man enough to let her GO.
Is your girl petty enough to refuse joint custody? Or are you attempting to file for sole custody? Breaking up with this girl is nowhere near as important as figuring out what will happen with your daughter. Your ex will probably rebound immediately so by the time she does date again it won't hurt as much. Of course I am just assuming. But kids can sense tension between their parents and it makes living at home uncomfortable at the least.