How do you deal with your husband being jealous or your best friend(ex boyfriend)?

Ok when my husband an I were split up I was dating this really great guy. He an I become best friends and care for each other a great deal. My husband doesn't like me going to see him or talking to him AT ALL!!! Even though I'm totally committed to my marriage and WON'T do anything to screw it up. The best/f an I did have a baby(I miscarried at 2 months). But that aside we just enjoy the friendship. He helps me with personal issues and I help him with things. We NEVER do anything more than hug. I love my husband and our marraige. But I don't want to lose my best/f either. Both these men mean a lot to me, My husband is the love of my life an I've told him that. And the best/f is just that my best/f. How can I make my husband see he has no reason to second guess my relationship with the best/f?How do you deal with your husband being jealous or your best friend(ex boyfriend)?
That's insane. Any husband would act the same way about your friend- especially if you had intercourse with him. You need to re-evaluate your priorities and stop being selfish to your husband or you won't be married long. Make a new friend and be more respectful to your husband.





Send the thumbs- down people but you know I speak the truth.





I saw your additional details and my answer still stands. You are being selfish and ridiculous. Your husband is right.How do you deal with your husband being jealous or your best friend(ex boyfriend)?
have to agree with the others sorry. It would be great to be able to maintain friendships with people that I have slept with. Quite a few of them are still really good friends. But to be honest to be respectful to my current woman and in consideration of her feelings I don't hang with them like I used to in the friends manner anymore. I know that it is hard but you have to make that decision. It is only fair to your current husband.
You need to grow up. You should realize there is hardly any place in a marriage for guy friends LET ALONE YOUR EX-BF WHOM YOU ALMOST HAD A BABY BY, are you fking serious woman? Your husband has every right not to allow this. Your lucky he haslet you see the ex as much as you have. You are married now, you need to give up the contact with ex's even if he is your ';Best Friend';, pfft, your fking husband is suppoesd to be your best friend, idiot.
First of all I know this gig..It is called keeping a back up!! drop it,no good will come from it I can only imagine my hubby hugging a best friend/ex and my blood will boil so I say lose him. Your hubby and any male family should be the only men you hug when ur married..it's called respect!
This is comical. Your ';best friend'; has been inside your vagina %26amp; your husband isn't supposed to care? PLEASE! And you were pregnant too? What Planet do you live on? If it walks like a ho . . .
You have already slept with this guy once. Do you blame him for not trusting your feelings for him?





Sounds like your keeping a spare in a glass case.
Just be honest.
you NEED to let this other guy go
You're suffering from A.W.P.S. (American Woman Princess Syndrome) Most American women suffer from this. It's normal and it's usually the fault of a woman's father referring to her as ';princess'; from the time the young girl was 3 years old to 16 years old. American women tend to feel a strong sense of entitlement after hearing their fathers say repeatedly, ';Yes princess!'; ';Anything you want princess!'; It's for this reason that many American women will pout and often act like children when they don't get their way or feel that they have been slighted. It's for these reasons that there are 2.5 million+ women in the states enjoying a happier, carefree existence using Prozac or some other anti-depressant/anxiety medication. Together with diet and exercise you should start feeling normal in no time at all.


Best of luck to you!
The only way for your husband to be okay with this is for you to stop seeing the other guy. You had sex with this guy before and now he is your best friend and that is cool but if your husband has a problem with it you will run to your best friend who will give you a hug and tell you your husband is foolish...you need to make your choice and it appears your best friend is more important than your husband...I don't mean to sound rude or anything but marriage is give and take. What if your husband became best friends with a woman he was in love with? It is just a bad situation to be in and does not appear to have a happy ending...
It doesn't look like you've known this guy for ages, but were dating him since the time you were married, and when you and your husband were separated.





If you want to keep the marriage, and if your husband is important to you, lose the ex boyfriend.





Put yourself in your husband's shoes.. how would you like it if he were all chummy with some woman he used to date when you two were split up?





I don't think your ex boyfriend best friend situation is healthy for your marriage.
';How can i make my husband see he has no reason to second guess my relationship with an ex';....sorry hunny, i honestly believe you cant. Thats just how us guys are, and i think its safe to say that most guys would see this as just a big no no.





I cant say i can blame your husband for feeling like he does and i think you are going to have to take a step back and think about how that makes him feel. This is really stressful on a marriage, if you love your husband and want it to work out in the end....drop the ex. And if you feel like you cant...maybe that in some way validates your husbands misgivings about this. Something to think about.





Good luck :)
i dont want to be offensive but stop being an idiot , would u like it if your husbands best friend was a female that he inpregnated , and did it with ? once you been with some one emotionaly and sexually its hard to not think tthings , be resepectfull of our husband , iv stoped talking to girls for my g/f but that was my personal choice . i love my g/f but i would never like for her to have a male best friend , sorry she gets along better with guys but what can i do , at least i know im her best friend .
Think about it, if this were the other way around would you look at it the same? I mean this best friend is someone with whom you have been intimate and pregnant by during your brief separation from your hubby. Now you're back with the hubby and still wants to keep the relationship with this ex/best friend? Where do you see any logic in this? Can you blame your husband for not wanting you to talk to him at all knowing the past with this person? You need to put your husband and your marriage first. You can't have it both ways sweetie, it's one or the other. I'm just thinking if a guy had written this, most the people on here would be jumping down his throat and saying his wife is too good for him and should leave him. Focus on your marriage, leave the other guy alone believe you me he'll survive without your friendship. Maybe you have a little more feeling for him than you're admitting here. Anyway, your husband should be your number one best friend, not some other guy.
I'm pretty liberal and pretty feminist, but I'm on your husband's side. I'm sorry, but you are doing something that is screwing up your marriage. You know how much this bothers your husband and you are continuing it, which allows it to threaten your marriage. This means that you are placing this friendship above your marriage. Your husband deserves to be your best friend, not your ex. It sounds to me as though you are probably having an emotional affair without realizing it.





Would you honestly be OK with it if the situation was reversed? I wouldn't be OK with my husband doing what you are doing. I would think my marriage was in serious trouble.





Your husband is telling you that it really hurts him that you need to have them both and you are saying, ';I'm sorry you're hurt, but I need to have you both even though this really hurts you.';





Decide which is more important to you and go with that. It sounds to me as though you aren't giving your marriage the respect it deserves.





Edit: I just saw the additional comments. It sounds like your husband doesn't really value your marriage either. Maybe he can stop seeing his ex's and you can stop seeing yours?
I'm sorry but I highly disagree with all these morons (men and women who answered, no wonder this world is so screwed up). Although I can see you left out numerous details which many of the previous answerers had not had a chance to read.





I can say this, I understand your situation. The fact that your husband still maintains a ';friendship'; with not just ONE, but several of his EXs. Well that situation is one-sided. Apparently many of these idiots who answered feel he's still allowed to maintain relationships with female friends, but expects you not to have ANY male friends?





That's actually my question for you, does he just not want you to be friends with THIS specific guy, or not be friends with ANY male, period? Is this the only best friend you have? even better, is this the ONLY male friend you have?





I think you need to sit down with your husband and assess the situation. If your husband can have a calm controlled conversation with you, then bring up points about how HE was the one who talked you into taking your husband back. Explain to your husband that he is still friends with his EXs, how does that equate to being fair to YOU, that he has friendships with his EXs, but he's acting like you can't?





If you want my HONEST opinion, I think you're BOTH being retarded. For one thing, you having this relationship with a man who got you pregnant, but also for your husband still having friendships with his EXs. That's disrespectful to each other on BOTH your parts.





Keep in mind, HE left YOU for ANOTHER woman........ I'm sure that hurt you, I'm surprised you even took him back, dumb move on your part. But I digress, he left you...... and you took him back, maybe he's throwing such a fit that he doesn't want YOU to actually leave him, and let him get screwed in life for once.





So again I ask, is he this way to JUST this friend, or does he not want you to have a male friend period?





If he doesn't want you to have a male friend period, then he is being unfair (and probably worried you will leave him as he left you), especially since he still has female friends, that's not something that is fair.





My GF knows I don't like her getting ';buddy buddy'; with guys, and I know she feels the same about me with girls, even though she may say she doesn't mind or car, I'm not stupid and I know better. Out of respect I'm not buddy buddy with girls, unless it's a co-worker, then I just maintain THAT kind of friendship. She knows I don't mind her male co-workers either.





In the end what you REALLY need to do is sit down with your husband and go over things with him. Ask him WHY he doesn't want you seeing your ';bestfriend';, if it's a stupid reason, explain how your B/F was the one to talk you into taking him back, explain how your B/F takes HIS side when you talk to him about the fights you have. He may realize there is nothing to be threatened by.





But at the same time, its a bad situation, it's someone you've already been intimate with, so I know there is at least SOME physical chemistry...... what happens if you have a bad fight with your husband, go to him for solace, and end up sleeping with him, and thus cheating on your husband. Is that something you could live with?