What is the best way to deal with your partners ';EX';?

I have to put up with alot of BS from my boyfriends ex. She had an afair at work they got divorced, shes alone now and she treats me like dirt. He treats me great, but she says things to thier children and other ppl and the things she says just aren't true. He doesn't want me to say anything to her or ';loose my temper'; because he is affraid he will loose his kids if I do because she will use it in court. What is the best course of action for me to take? Should I just fight back, ignore it no matter how hard it may be, or what? Give me some pointers as to what way I should handle dealing with her.What is the best way to deal with your partners ';EX';?
I have been in the same situation as you and now I am having the last laugh years later.





Bite your tongue and just be there for your man when it all gets to him.He needs your support as all this is very upsetting when kids are used as weapons.


He will see her for what she is AN EVIL ***** and you as level headed and calm.


She wants the kids and is going to make it difficult for him to see them by going to court.Well let her get on with it, because it will backfire on her in the long run.She won't have her freedom and he will. She will resent it and you will find yourselves with the kids more often than the court said.


She will try to ruin your freedom too by dumping them on you as and when it suits her.Go with it!





She is jealous of you because you have her man so she is trying to upset you. Don't lower to her level or you will also be a loser like her.


Ignoring her is the best weapon in the world.What is the best way to deal with your partners ';EX';?
Personally, I would not take what she says too personally, nor would I ';fight back';.





However, I would worry about the potential effect of her words on the children: If she continues discrediting you with them, I would suggest that your husband deals with it immediately. In fact, doing so can actually harm the children by ';forcing'; them to choose between her and you and their dad. That is unacceptable and, if she does not stop doing so, your husband may in fact have good grounds to challenge her custody.
if he is your bf, dump him- it will not get better


if both of you like each other that much, tell to call you when his custody battle is over, and he grew some baseBALLS





if he is your husband, get the ex back to court, record the things she says, and welcome family counseling
You need to simply ignore her and be civil when you have to speak with her. This isn't Jerry Springer. She can use your actions in court and your boyfriend will never forgive you.





It's up to him to deal with her, not you. Stay out of it or get out of it.
Just ingore it, people will get to know you will get to know her and realize she is the lying bitter ex.
You're misinformed. You don't HAVE to put up with anything you don't want to put up with... including ex's. Tell your b/f his ex better back off or all hell WILL break loose.
avoiddddd it and them the BS
man, I would stay away from all of them, but i take it that you dont want to break up with your bf.





I would just keep being your sweet self but refuse to listen to any bad mouthing that the ex says. who is actually telling you what she is saying? tell that person that you dont want to hear any of it. hearing it will just put you in an unnecessary bad mood. secondly, I would EXTREMELY CALMLY confront her in front of her kids at least (since if you plan to marry this man, the kids will be your stepkids). like when she is picking them up and they're loading in the car and she's about to get in. I would say, can I please speak to you? tell her that while you dont know why she hates you so much, that she can hate you if she wants but you hope that she will stop telling her kids bad things about you because it's not fair to them and puts them in an unfair position. they love both you and your bf. just please remember that. then if you stay nice and keep acting how you usually do, people will start to realize that she is the bad one. Just keep doing what you are doing. I know it hurts but that's the best thing you can do. If she keeps interrupting, just say, it's going to be short so please just let me finish. you MUST be the mature one here.





If your boyfriend can talk to her about this instead of you, that would be the best, but it sounds like your boyfriend isnt the type to protect you about this.
I just don't talk to her, they have a son together, she has pulled a lot of crap but really, it is on him to handle, not me. I also have a son but my son's dad died while i was pregnant with him, so there is no one to deal with on my end.
Grow up and get over it. So what if she treats you like dirt, as long as your man is focused on you and the relationship he is in now, with no regrets and no looking back, who cares? Whenever ';do gooders'; feel that have to tell you what she said, interrupt them and say ';Thanks for looking out for me, but her ravings are really nothing to me, and I'd rather not hear it.'; Talk to your boyfriend about the children though. He needs to be firm with her and tell her that he will use that in court against her if she keeps it up. Running you down to the kids should be forbidden by him-NOT you. Even if she were standing in your front yard screaming at the top of her lungs calling you names, look at her and laugh! She is alone and miserable, and you have the man. What else do you need? If she is lying, other people either realize it right away, or will see the truth in the end, and then she still ends up looking bad. Ignore her, focus on your relationship. But I do think he should shut her up with the kids, and if he won't....well then, you've got a different problem on your hands. If you don't react to her at all, all it shows is that you have class-and that she's an a**.
first of all...he is not going to lose custody of his kids simply because you stand up for yourself to this woman. The courts are not interested in such petty stuff. If I were you I would say something to her. But, don't be mean or even angry when you talk to her. Be just as sweet and nice as you can, but be straight forward and make sure you get your best points in because she is more than likely not going to listen too long. Your story is so common in the sense that the ex is always jealous of the new gf and it's amazing how they use the kids as leverage against the exhubby.


OR, write her a letter, again sugar coat it and make a copy of it. But.... no matter how you do it, DO IT. Let her know that you are ';there'; and not happy the way she is acting because it is going to affect the kids..... I went thru the same thing and it really bugged the ex that I was so ';nice';.. good luck!
IF YOU FIND A BETTER WAY PLEASE LET ME KNOW..........


I am married to a great man.I love him with all my heart but he has an exwife that really gets on my nerves. She is the reason that we could not get married in our church.She started some crap and then when she realized we were getting married CHURCH OR NO CHURCH SO SHE CALLED THE PREACHER AND TOLD HIM TO GO AHEAD AND MARRY US so he was going to but I said no!!!


I have had one maybe two confrotation with her didnt acomplish nothing....So I really dont know what to tell you other then choose your battles with her and if she is disrespectful she will continue to do that ntil you put your foot down!!!!


My husband says thats what he is afraid of too but I choose my battles with her so we kind of know where each other stand...Its like a mutual HATE RESPECT RELATIONSHIP LOL Tell your man that if he cant take up for you that you are going to do it your self,,just make sure its not in front of the kids,,,,HAVE you tried talking to her at all?Try talking to her find out what the problem is....DID you break them up???


Please get back to me let me knwo how things turn out until then,,,,


GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
My financee' ex...........omg can we say lier, trouble, etc.... and always talking crap to the kids about me, how i ruined there relationship (which i met him 2 years after they separated) anyways...after trying to prove myself to her, to be her friend, what ever it took to show i was a good person, nothing worked. So the only thing i found that worked, is prove only to yourself who you are. Your bf and the kids will love and respect you for you, not what you can prove to some ex that has PROBLEMS. Kill her w/ kindness and silence.......believe me, the silence works the best. If and when ppl say she said this or that, just laugh and say what ever.... it will get back to her that SHE'S not getting to you, and after 3 yrs...its STARTING to finally work for me. Good luck.....
Unless she addresses you directly, you should ignore her. She is going to talk no matter what and when you react to this, you will be giving her the drama that she is seeking. Once she gets what she's looking for in the way of a reaction, she may become even worse with it. The best and quickest way to shut her up is to ignore her. At some point, the children will realize that she is being an idiot and will not listen to what she says. They're really smarter than we often times give them credit for. Be secure in who you are and keep in mind that anyone who matters will not listen to her crap. Anyone who does listen to it is not worth your time. Just focus your energy on living your life and being a good person. The truth will become evident to most.
Ignore her; they have kids together right? She is just using that as a way to try to hold onto him, and try to control the situation. Basically she is being a stupid little ******! I had a similar problem, except that my fiance and his ex weren't married, nor did they have kids. I ignored her as hard as it was sometimes to avoid kicking her in the face, and I didn't have anything to stop me! I just decided that in order to seem like the bigger person and the better woman, I wasn't going to give in to her little temper tantrums. And this chick would actually come to his house when he lived with his parents and say stuff to him, and to me, while I just ignored her and ignored her. Guess what? She gave up...then 2 years later she came and apologized to me and said she realized just how stupid she was being.


Just ignore this chicken head: she is trying to get attention from him and if you make her seem important in your life, she will never stop. Let her know that nothing she says or does is going to break up your relationship, so tell her to keep on bringing the drama! She will get tired eventually!!