Why does everything your ex say drive you mad?

I do not understand why when two people spend so many years together they can not end it and be civil. Why must they throw comments at each other about the past. Who did what and so on. Every time we speak about the children, he says something to stir a stink. How do you deal with it?Why does everything your ex say drive you mad?
I would just sit and listen or say thats the past , she was just doing it to start an argument and get me wound up , just let it go in one ear and out the other......Why does everything your ex say drive you mad?
Once I served the papers, I never spoke to him again. IT made things SO much easier and drove him BATS!!!
it's like a hidden golden rule for people for some reason. I think that the reason they can't act civil toward each other is cause they still have some feelings they haven't talked through and by striking back in a rude way they feel like they are getting something lifted off their shoulders. but really it's only a temporary fix. Try sitting there and talking to him, let him get out every single thing that bothers him out, you do the same and maybe he can act more civil to you and you to him.
how i wish i know the answer too....
It is called stupidly. This is some who is not willing let the past go. It is really the both of you. You what to stand there and take on the fight. The thing to do is keep your mouth shut agree with him and walk a way. No mater how much it hurts in what he says. Keping your moth shut is the best thing to do.
I believe people do things like that when they know in their heart of hearts that they themself didn't do what was right in the relationship and now they are trying to force the other person to believe that it was all them.
i wish i knew and i so wish he didn't speak.
my brother is like that....just ignore him when he starts an arguement...and let him feel like he's won the arguement and avoid the whole thing...
Two reasons: One, the anger is still there. It's like a bucket of water filled to the top, and every drop after that overflows. Two, he needs to feel that he was in the right. Divorce is usually harder than marriage.