What's it like when your ex gets remarried and you have to deal with the new spouse?

I'm curious what it's like for the ex after their spouse gets remarried. If you have kids, what's it like to know that a ';stepmom'; or ';stepdad'; is spending time with your kids too? What were your feelings towards the new spouse when you found out about them and how have those feelings changed? Whats the hardest part about sending your kids with your ex and their new spouse?





I'd really like to hear detailed answers for those of you who've gone through this situation. I'm actually the ';new spouse'; and I'm wondering what feelings the ex goes through when kids are involved. Thanks!What's it like when your ex gets remarried and you have to deal with the new spouse?
if the new spouse was the reason for the divorce it could be a problem in letting the children go be with the One who caused the breakup, but if she wasn't the cause i would just try to get along with her. just try to be as fair as u can with the kids because sometimes kids run back to mom and tattle that the new wife was mean to them. no mom wants the step mom to act like the mom. creates jealousies and resentment.What's it like when your ex gets remarried and you have to deal with the new spouse?
i hate my ex's wife. i wished she'd get worms. a little immature, i know. however, i have a child with my ex and between the 3 of us, we get along. stepmom does her thing, i do mine and as long as we don't communicate and she remembers who's the real mom, she avoids getting cut. so basically, it's a complicated situation that i'm barely handling through drink and medication.
I was with my husband 7 years before getting married, I will never have to go through a situation like this, maybe more people should be responsible about who they mary in the first place instead of creating childish, drama and being adults playing trailor park baby games.
good luck!!
I was delighted that there was another person, and a woman, who cared about my daughter. I actually felt more comfortable sending her to see her father, because I always liked the women he married. (One before me, and two after...or three...two.)





He was still an idiot, but the women he married were good people. Poor taste in men, but it was something we had in common.





The best part was, if I said to the stepmom..she likes a wash cloth over her eyes when you rinse her hair...the stepmom not only listened, but appreciated the hint. Or, she'll always eat spaghetti with canned parmesan cheese and butter..but she doesn't like lima beans.





He always insisted on doing it HIS way, which made her miserable. The stepmom was always more interested in trying to make the time as pleasant as possible.





The hardest part was that I missed my daughter when she was seeing them.





I always made sure my daughter got the stepmom a mother's day card. We tried to make sure we included her as a member of the family. I guess my theory was, having someone else love and care about my child wasn't a bad thing. We discussed what she was and wasn't allowed to do, and the best way to deal with her ';moments';.





(*laughter*) Liked the stepmoms. Guess I'm pretty weird.
It is hard... like labor and delivery!


My son is now 28 and although I never remarried, his dad did so five times beginning with my son's age at two and ending when he was 17.


It tore my son up each time his dad divorced and moved on and it tore me up that he became attached to his step mom's only to have them leave and be replaced.


My son now has a daughter who recently turned one for her party I sat there along with my ex-husband and his wife, their daughter, my ex-mother in-law and her new husband, and ex-sister in-laws. Not to mention my daughter-in-laws Mother with her new husband, and her ex-husband with his new wife. The daughter-in-laws sisters with their new and ex-husbands.


My granddaughter is blessed to have so many people love her, however everyone in attendance felt the strain from everyone else in attendance.


My parents are deceased and they were the only ones who would were capable of keeping their marriage together for over four decades until their deaths two years apart.,


You sit there... suck it up for the good of the children. They didn't ask to be in the middle of so much turmoil.
It's not easy, I can tell you that much. I am the ';new spouse'; also. I've been married for 2 years now. I have 2 step daughters, 10 %26amp; 7. The older one is mature thinking for her age and understood the situation completely. The younger one, we actually just went through an episode of her ';missing'; her ';real'; dad.





I know that there is resentment and always an attitude. Although we keep it cordial in front of the kids he would rather I not be around. It gets uncomfortable when there are school functions and ';all'; of us are there together.





Honestly, though it would be a matter of how well you get along with the Ex. There is not much that you can really do, but be yourself and be respectful. Just understand that you are now taking care of HER children. Look at that movie, ';Stepmom';. Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts. They did not get along at first but in the end it worked out.





You don't have to walk on eggshells around the person. Just be confident in knowing that your marriage is strong and that you are doing the most that you can for the step kids as a new parent. I myself, treat the girls like they were my own. Unfortunately, they receive more discipline in my house than they do with their own father. That's only because he lets them do whatever they want.





There will be issues, but there will also be times when everything is right. Just do your best.
For me I am happy my ex is with someone who is good to my son. She and I get along enough to exchange smiles and talk when necessary. For my son's sake I try to make it comfortable and natural. She respects me and doesn't step on my toes - that is what's most important is know you are not there to replace the mom, rather to compliment the childs life and be an added positive influence. By the way this is the girl who cheated with my husband while I was 5 mos pregnant with my son, she knew we were married with a baby on the way, they are now married... so I am confidant if I can make THAT a good situation, anyone can. Just put the kids first and the rest works out.
My second husband remarried. He stopped pay child support for about 1 year so she could have a diamond on her figer. I was upset about that not with her. When he also tried working under the table she found out because he wasn't ( supposeably) working, they'd have to withhold her wages man I got my child support on time all the time. They didn't keep my kids for the scheduled visits always brought them home really early. She didn't like nor want kids.





We didn't talk except for when she found out about her wages being withheld. Then not until after she divorced him and we had a few nice talks. LOL