How Do You Deal with your Significant Other Constantly Bringing Up The Past?

How do you handle a SO that keeps bringing up your past transgressions? I am a 44 year old, DWF with a 13-year old son. I am in a relationship with a man 4 years my junior. The circumstances for which we came to be in a relationship does not make for a solid foundation. I was going through a divorce and for a while was in transition of moving out of the marital house into my own house. I met this wonderful guy who I told I was going through a divorce. We started a relationship. At one point in the relationship, he broke it off and I was very hurt. A few months later he asked if we could pick up where we left off and I happily said yes. My divorce was not final and I lied about it...property, child support details were being worked out. But because he told me I was still married when he broke it off with me, I didn't tell him the truth until later. Since then, my mistakes have piled up and there have been plenty of them and this blog would blow up if I tried to list them. He has made some mistakes too, for which I have forgiven him for and I work diligently to not bring them up because I believe in him and I believe his apology was sincere. Is this something I should expect from him? He frequently brings up everything I've ever done. We could start out talking about say the president's health care plan and he will sarcastically ask me something like, ';How's your ex-husband doing?'; I understand that I have caused him to hurt and on some levels, distrust me. But if he feels that way, why doesn't he leave? He says he doesn't want to because he loves me. Well, is that really love? Or is this someone who has an ax to grind? I'm not a victim in this relationship and neither is he - we both operate on the free will principal. I have told him several times we should just end this but he won't go anywhere. Is it fair to stay and treat someone this way when they are trying their very best to prove that they have changed? And yes, we've been to counseling and he can quote the counselors best statements to me about what I should be doing in the relationship, but he's not doing the work on his end to leave the past in the past and not let how we started be how we live and end up. I feel extremely defeated because I feel like I'm living up to my promise to him and all I get is knocked down. Should I be the one to end this relationship?How Do You Deal with your Significant Other Constantly Bringing Up The Past?
Yes.





He is a manipulator and will gradually grind you down and you deserve better than that.





Undermining you, putting all the problems in your lap, these are the early signs. Get out before he steps up the pace.