How do you manage to keep your relationship with your ex's baby girl and deal with the new girlfriend too!?

My recent ex and I were together for 5 yrs. His daughter is 4 1/2 yrs old. I have been step mommy all her young life. Now he has decided to leave and go be someone else. I feel as though he is letting me see our little one as little as possible...... however..... She is the reason that I am not getting to see her as much as I know he would let me. How do I deal with this? How do I get past this with him, and get him to understand that what she thinks doesn't matter? my relationship with our little one is NONE of her business and not her decision. How do I get through?How do you manage to keep your relationship with your ex's baby girl and deal with the new girlfriend too!?
in my eyes YOU'RE her mother.


you've been the mother figure she's known her whole life and u have a right to see her when you want to.How do you manage to keep your relationship with your ex's baby girl and deal with the new girlfriend too!?
Unfortunately this IS now her business and she will influence decisions on this - not that it's fair, just that it's real.





Keep your eye on the ball - that is - the child. That is who will really lose if the adult here can't work things out. I would do my best to be as agreeable and social and respectful of the new relationship as possible. Become and 'auntie' and not an ex-girlfriend. Never refer to your relationship with him if you can help it and be a friend and helper - but don't impose, and keep your eyes on what is best for the child. Really tough situation and I wish you well in it. Not easy for you, but you clearly care about this little girl so set your own 'stuff' aside and do the best you can for her.
If it is not your child then you may have to move on. I know it will be hard, but you cannot interfere in his relationship. I know he appreciates all you have done for him and his child. He is now in a new relationship and you can't create or should not stir up drama. Let it go and let him decide to let you see the child. You really have no say in the matter, but step back. If you are not the mother then it is not OUR, but his. Sorry, but you have to let go if he says no, he has a new girlfriend and he wants to please her so he cannot agreed with you.
It sounds like you have been betrayed. I dont blame you.


This is what lawyers are for. I suggest you talk to one.


To bad, once bitten twice shy as they say. I guess you wont make that mistake again. Good luck....
if the relationship between the girls mother and you is good, try and see her that way. if not ask your ex and his new girlfriend to lunch and explain to her that you have no interest in your ex but that dosen't mean you don't love the little anymore and that it may be hurting the girl that she lost you too. or the third option love the little girl enough to let her go. in time she my forget and won't be in the middle of grown up fights.
Hi Shy, first let me say I am sorry your relationship ended so recently and I know you are looking to heal. This man has chosen to remove his daughter from your life and unfortunately there is not much you can do about this. You feel as though you are this childs mother and I can see this because you call her ';our'; little one. But the reality is that other than the bonds of marriage and adoption she is his child.





I do not believe it is healthy for you to try to remain in her life as it will be confusing for the child and it will cause conflicts in this new relationship he has chosen.





You will never forget his child nor the love that you shared for his child but trying to insert yourself into this situation will only cause pain for all but mostly for yourself.





I suggest you move on and find a good loving stable relationship and hopefully you will have a family of your own one day. Good luck to you and I wish you all the best.
oh dear, thats a hard situation as legally you have no rights to see this child, BUT you should talk to him and say how much you love the baby and how much the baby is mssing you and ask him to see her on some dates, remember him it is not fair to use the baby to upset you and make a deal you wont say anything bad about him in front of her and same way with him
If your ex has custody and you don't, then you have no legal right to see the child unless he says so. End of story; I'd back off if you don't want to get slapped with a restraining order.
its going to be really hard for you to let go and since he went his seperate ways with you so will the relationship you had with the little girl it sounds like you love her but you will have to let her go unless the mom says you can see her i hope i am reading this message ok