How do you deal with your ex going after your bestfriend?

My exboyfriend and I dated for almost 6 years; we broke up in 2005. I am now married and have a baby and am very happy in life.


I know my ex has been having trouble finding someone to settle down with. I haven't really talked to him for the past few years, but we're on good terms. I found out recently, though, that he told my best friend that he would like to date her. Not just sleep around with her, but get serious.


I don't know what to think of this. My best friend is also looking to settle down with someone, but I don't think he's her type, and I don't think that she would do that, seeing as she never really cared for him anyway. She was nice to him, and talked to him once in a while, but they were never close. She always told me she was happy I wasn't with him anymore.


I'm a little angry at him, and my pride is hurt. I want to say something to her, ask her how she feels about it, but she didn't want me to find out. (I found out through a mutual friend of mine and my ex). Should I trust her to make the right decision, or should I confront her about it?


Another thing is I know he's making snide remarks about me lately, that I'm married and ';child ridden'; so his life can go back to normal now. I haven't talked to him much in the past few years, I've never made remarks to him about anyone he was dating, I never interfered with his life at all, so why would he make a remark like that? He said this recently, and I've been married for two years, why would he make a comment like that now?


I want to ignore this, and if it was any other woman he was talking to, I wouldn't give a crap about it, I'd say good for him finding someone he's happy with. But I can't get over the fact it's my bestfriend he wants to date. If they do start dating, do you think I'm justified in cutting her out of my life? And why would she tell our other friends about this, but not me? Why doesn't she want me to know? Do you think it's because she wants to get serious with him and is trying to keep it a secret?


Like I said, I'm trying to not let this bug me, but all I keep thinking is they are going to get together and I'm going to have to see them together at friend's houses and parties, etc.How do you deal with your ex going after your bestfriend?
Aw I'm sorry this is happening to you.


I think you should confront your best friend about it since you feel very uncomfortable about this situation.How do you deal with your ex going after your bestfriend?
Unless your ex is dating your husband then he isn't really with your 'best friend'





Maybe she didn't tell you because she figured you would take it too personally?
ahem...your dinner is ready sire...
Well, I'm only 14, but I was in a similar situation during school. I went out with a guy, but I broke up with him because I didn't feel the same way about him since we were friends before and then he asked my best friend out a couple of months later. I was really, really upset about what had just happened.I did the same things as you, think that they weren't each others types and stuff. But anyway, back to your situation. First, I think you should confront your friend about it, just a one on one conversation.If you don't feel comfortable doing that, then invite one of the friends that already know and have him/her sit with you too. I think it would be better if you let it out. Unfortunately, I didn't even though I wanted to confront them so much, I held it in. That is the worst possible thing you could do. Anyway, tell her how you feel, so you can get it out and not keep it bottled up. The more you keep it in, the worst it'll be when you eventually tell her. For your ex, he has no right in saying the rude stuff he says. I say you have a talk with him too, telling him to stop saying the stuff he says. If he doesn't stop, then I think you should drop the acquaintance-ship because he is being a jerk and you don't need that right now. Hope everything turns out the best.
It's funny how some people never grow up. Well I don't know if you will care much for my advice(bc i am a teen), but maybe I can give you some really good advice.





Now you can take this a lot of different ways. You could not tell your best friend, and they might end up going out. You will feel even more uncomfortable and will have to confront him and your best friend at some point. She might say no though and then you don't have to worry about it, but this isn't what i would do.





I would tell my best friend I found out about him, and I would tell her how it makes me feel uncomfortable. You should also mention how you don't like those remarks he makes about you. Now you don't want to tell your best friend what to do bc no one likes that. Tell her what you think would be a good idea, but make sure she knows that you know in the end the choice is up to her. Now you will have to let her now that you need to confront your ex on how you feel bc you can't keep that inside. You will get so stressed.





Now don't be mad that she didn't tell you. Let her explain the reason why she didn't tell you. She probably didn't want you to get hurt. I know that I have this friend who I don't want to hurt bc her boyfriend (this is the second time they dated, and her boyfriend is my best friend) only dated her the first time to get over me. I know he used her, and I know I should tell her, but she just loves him so much (which I think is stupid bc i don't think teens really should be that much in love).





Now if she is your best friend you should be there for her. Even if she dates your ex. And if they break up then you need to be there for her too. You might have this feeling he will hurt her(emotionally of course) and you can tell her, but you can't make the decisions for her. If it ends up they break up don't be all like ';I told you so'; be there for her. Comfort her and help her get back up on her feet.





I might not know to much about adult relationships or drama, but I know how to deal with this stuff (in a way). I have had to stand by my best friends through countless heartbreaks (one being me breaking the heart of my best friend that's a boy; he is the one dating my other friend).





Hope I helped a bit. Or a lot which ever one it is. I am just glad i helped :)
But you've found the right person for you already. And you have a family to take care of. Let those two poor guys alone and let them try with each other.


You shouldn't cut your friend of, unless she was having something with him while you 2 were still together. He wasn't the right one for you, maybe he is for your friend. Just don't have negative feelings about this, because is toxic. Don't feel jealous, let the world be a better place. Full of peace and love!


Please somebody answer my questionhttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
I feel your pain.





you're blaming your friend it sounds. to ';make the right decison';? what does that mean?





look, you had your chance.





and you sound rly hapy with your new life.





these people--or at least this guy--is old news.





let those two deal out their relationship.





it probably won't last, anyway.





i'm blunt :)





i know you're hurting. is there some other ubber-trustworthy friend worth talking to this about? even a counselor. seriously. who can you trust these days??





ps you need to think about some things.





g'luck! %26lt;3
I can understand where you are coming from first of all even though he is your ex you had a relationship with him for 6 years there is history involved, now on the other hand you have a right to be somewhat concern about not overly though but if your ex wants to get serious with you best friend you can't control what he wants to do but as for as your friend you need to exercise discretion which ever direction you choose to go in confronting her or not.





It just seems odd that she would tell others about it and not you perhaps she wants to spare your feelings or she could be trying to hide something. Either way I hope that she does the right thing whatever her decision is you need to keep in mind that you are now married to a wonderful man and have a baby you have a new life and maybe you should leave your ex in the past.
Well I would say that your friend did not mention it because she wants to keep the friendship. Maybe she does want to date him, but not necessarily get serious. And your ex is pathetic. He has not moved on and that is why he is making these remarks.





If they get together, just avoid the parties if it bothers you. Or go and have a good time.





If your friend and your ex want to get together, really, you should be happy for them. Take the high road.