HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR EX FINDING NEW LOVE?

Having spent 12 years with my wife i was recently told she no longer loved me which came as no surprise as things had been bad for a long time.I know my marrige is over and ive given her what she wants, the house, custody of the kids etc etc and she says there is no one else but what happens when there is some one else? how do you deal with another man been in your house, in your marital bed, been with your kids all the time when you can only see them 2 days a week and being with the person you loved and spent 12 years with. Not sure if there is any right answers to this just looking for personal experiances, how did you cope? are you going through this? what did you do? thanks.HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR EX FINDING NEW LOVE?
Therapy.HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR EX FINDING NEW LOVE?
Obviously you still love her and that is natural. Feelings are something we have no control over but to sit there and ponder on the ';what if's'; will drive you crazy. You will always have a connection to her and the children and that's for life whether it be good or bad - when and if another man enters her life he will wonder about you as well. All you can do now is cherish the time you have with your kids. If you can't stop thinking about the situation and it is effecting your daily life then maybe you should go talk to a professional.
I got an attorney and fought for the children and furniture, including the ';marital bed.';





You really have two choices: Accept it and move on or wallow in it. But she is moving on.





Don't invest more time and energy in anger and pain now than you did in working on the marriage then.





I cope by accepting the things I cannot change one day at a time.
I know it is difficult, but she has moved on and that is what you need to do, too. Otherwise, you will just fret over everything she does, resent every step she takes to be happy again.





You probably could use some counseling to help you cope with your situation. Now is the time to do it before you obsess on it too much.


That can be destructive for everyone involved, including your kids.





Good luck.
I was with mine 25 years. I knew for awhile he did not want me anymore, i just tried to hold on. Anyway we havent been together for 6 months and she already has another man who she loves. Its hard, i wont lie to you, but you CAN and WILL get through it. Find a friend girl to spend time with, or start back in the dating scene. I know that is the last thing on your mind right now, but i promise it will really help.
All you can do is your best. Do the best for you kids and move on, work on yourself, be their in your kids life. Doing your best is all you can do. you have to move on cause the mite be someone else out their for you.You well never know until you try.





I wish you the best of luck
I scream, yell, throw things a temper tantrum, cry like a *****, pray to gods I only heard about and fell like **** all the time. Slowly beginning to realize, holding the resentment is like drinking poison and hoping she gets sick, Once she got her US citizenship, she bailed AND lost all the fat. Now that just aint right.


Best to you,


Darrell
There are no right or wrong answers for you. Everyone reacts differently to a given situation. My advise to you is ';worry about it when it happens'; and join a men's support group so you can discuss these matters with others in the same situation. Good luck.
Ive been married twenty years now and would hate for that to happen. I can only imagine how hard it would be. If it did happen though, I would try and focus more on the kids and their needs, not on what my ex-wife is doing.


**** I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH MILDRED***
this bs happens so often and i feel sorry for you.


seeing you gave her everything there;s not much you can do now but go on with your new life.


spend your time that you get with your children and find a nice girlfriend
find love in god, he will help you love your self, and help you move on.








if you are divorced then you have to get a puppy, at least they cant cheat on you.





good luck
You just take day for day and hope that she has good judgement in who she brings around your children.
Man, don't let the negativity get to you. I gave my ex everything, house, car, furniture you name it, because the agreement was that she would raise the kids in a stable environment. Once my divorce was final, I lost 2000lbs of emotional baggage, had a two week celebration, and then got back to the grind. After that, I got custody of my oldest son, and she got a boyfriend who cheated on her like the fool a that he was. Or like the fool that she was. (what goes around comes around).





The point is that you don't have a crystal ball and you don't know that you won't meet the woman of your dreams, once you have you freedom. Just one word of advice. You have to be right for yourself before you can be right for someone else.
Your feelings are understandable; when you lose someone you love your heart can be broken for a long time. However you need to gain some perspective on this situation. Have you really taken time to see what your ex-wife did to you? She took everything and what do you have? Does that sound fair? I know you are still in love with her but there comes a point in time when you need to put your feelings aside and look at the situation logically. Don't you deserve to have some things too? If you want to see your children more than two days a week then fight for it! Your needs, wants and desires are also important. You should not put those things on the back burner simply because you love someone and you shouldn't do that especially when the other person does not care about you. You have given your ex enough; it is time to take care of your needs!